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Sunday, August 3, 2014

How to V.I.P. Like a Boss.

So my kiddos got to experience the circus for the first time on Friday.  What's even better is that we went V.I.P. for the day.  I understand that there are possibly some people out there that haven't ever had the full V.I.P. circus experience, so I've outlined some simple steps below so everyone can join in on the fun.

7. Make a fancy breakfast. With lots of sugar.  Because you need to ease their blood sugar into the upcoming snacks of cotton candy and snow cones.  Otherwise, it may be a shock to their system.
 
  
6. Hire a driver with a giant SUV to take your whole posse.  Or let your husband take you and your crew in your own giant SUV - whatever's most convenient.
5. Get V.I.P. parking that's close to the venue.  If that means using your monthly parking at work, well, then that's just a bonus.  Elevators earn you bonus points with 2-year-olds.
4. Bring your sugar daddy.  Not only because he's cute, but because it's hard to show multiple children what's going on beyond all the flashy/distracting lights on your own.  
 
3. Sit in the V.I.P. section, of course.  Yes, they have a V.I.P. section at the circus.   It's the best way to get the best views of the animals and their human pooper scoopers that shuffle behind them as they perform (seriously, can you imagine that being your job?!?).  Also, you can smell the animals from that close.  V.I.P. = the full effect.
2. Eat lunch somewhere classy.  Not on the floor.  And DEFINITELY not in the corner of the arena that's sponsored by cheap beer.  Because that would be inappropriate during a children's event.
 
 
1. Bring grandparents.  Because who else would pay for the V.I.P. section at the circus?!?!  Their love and generosity for the little ones in their lives is precious.
One of my girlfriends recently wrote a blog post about grandparent detox.  It seemed to be a fantastic post with some helpful steps, but she had no advice for people like me that have grandparents right up the street.  I'm waiting for a follow-up from her so I can figure out how to ensure my children aren't spoiled rotten before the age of 5.  Until then, I've decided to embrace the fact that my children will regularly be indulged by grandparents.  And enjoy the indulgence myself by V.I.P.ing it all the way to The Greatest Show on Earth.